~The Speth Family~: Bad Baby News

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Bad Baby News

Last week I got to have my first detailed ultrasound! We decided not to find out the sex of the baby and it was a lot of fun until the tech became flustered and kind of freaked out. She couldn't get a good look at something and the computer kept switching out of OB mode and she couldn't figure out how to fix it. Then I got incredibly sick from the weight of my uterus on an artery and almost puked. Plus the baby was measuring small. No biggie, since I really don't know my last period dates. Anyhow she ended up calling my OB and scheduling another ultrasound with a better machine at the hospital.

Unfortunately the tech was not as big of an airhead as we thought she was. she was just very freaked out by what she saw as well she should have been. We had another tech perform the second ultrasound and then Dr. Silver came in and spewed out a thousand questions about family history and birth defects while he took a better look.

He then turned off the machine and said, "Well, its not good." That was resoundingly familiar to my last OB with Allie when I went in at 32 weeks to be checked and shortly after the examination started she looked up and said, "Oh crap".

Anyway to make this shorter Dr. Silver is almost positive the baby has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome - which to my limited understanding means the left side of the heart is undeveloped and not functioning. The baby should be fine while in utero because the placenta actually does the pulmonary work of the left side while the baby is still in there, but as soon as it comes out and they cut the umbilical cord we're in trouble.

If left untreated, the syndrome is 100% fatal. But John has been reasearching and said they can do a few surgeries as soon as the child is born to re-route things and help the right side of the heart do ALL the work - that will hopefully extend its life for a few months or years. The best prognosis is that the child makes it a few years and can have a heart transplant - which may or may not work. So I guess as Dr. Silver put it, "its not good". There is a very good chance that the baby will die after it is born. I guess we'll know more after the fetal echo next week.

As John and I began to explain about some of the trauma of each of our daughter's births, fetal echo's with Kylie, how both of their hearts began to fail, how Allie died and was only resuscitated with an epi, breathing problems, NICU stays, etc. The Dr. looked a little surprised. He said all of those incidents are completely unrelated and random. I think that those experiences prepared us for something harder, which might have been overwhelming otherwise. Dr. Silver said it sounds like we are very familiar with what we might expect over the next several months and I think he's right.

Oddly enough the news didn't come as a surprise to me. I feel as though I have been prepared for this, although I can't really say exactly how. I feel calm. I have been through incredibly difficult challenges before and have always been comforted and blessed during them. I have been in the mind set that Heavenly Father is in charge and I am powerless to do anything about it, but last night my dad reminded me that the church doesn't teach predestination and that got me thinking. I spent some time reading the scriptures and my mind was filled - overflowing- with instances from them where prophets have changed their situation through faith, prayers and a lot of fasting. I believe quite firmly that the priesthood is a great power and that Heavenly Father can do anything he wants, but last night I learned that instead of waiting around for Him to do His will, I have power to submit my own requests - not to alter His will, but because he loves me and is willing to bless me if I go to him and humbly ask for what I need. I am perfectly willing to accept things as He sees best, but I also don't want to let unfortunate circumstances control my life.

So with that, I would ask that if any of your feel like fasting or just praying in behalf of our little baby, we would really appreciate it :) I feel incredibly comforted - like I did when Kylie and Allie were born - and whatever happens, it will be Okay.

Side note - Since we have enough to think about, we decided to find out the sex of the baby. John is pretty sure it is a boy from the ultrasound, and both of our mother's are convinced of that as well, but we will confirm next week and maybe even decide on a name...

2 comments:

HeidiAugust 7, 2009 at 9:51 PM
Suzi! Wow, oh my! It was SO good to read your update on the baby and I just want to send you a huge hug. You are so strong, brave and full of faith. Indeed the Lord will bless you and your family through this challenging time. Good job keeping your head up and eyes heavenward.
Wow, you are prepared for it and I'm so impressed by your words. John and I send you both our love, support and prayers.
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Poll FamilyAugust 10, 2009 at 1:04 PM
What a great blessing it is to have this special child come to your family. When I heard the news I was very sad and upset for John and you. After a few days, I came to understand that you are a very honored people to have such a perfect child given to you. If you need to talk to someone who understands what you are going through, my neighbor has a boy who has the same thing. He is in sunbeams and is a very happy child. I am sure she wouldn't mind if you ever needed to talk or have any questions.
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