~The Speth Family~: Your thoughts?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Your thoughts?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this one...

Tuesday was dentist day. I made the appointments in December and didn't want to postpone for three more months so we had to take Ammon and go. Traveling has gotten much easier now that I have a system :) He had been pretty fussy all morning so I figured he would just fall asleep in his car seat. Kylie, Allie and I all had appts at the same time - I love our dentist's office. They are so efficient and helpful. Anyway as soon as I got Ammon settled near my seat he started fussing so I got him out, lifted my knees and laid him on my lap while the dental assistant went to work. Naturally she wanted to know what was up with the oxygen, feeding tube, and PICC (It was time to run antibiotics so he had a tube attached to it).

I never know what to tell people. I used to give too many details, but that was obviously overwhelming. I tried to simplify his story by only giving short, necessary answers, but most people want to know more after they get the basic gist. People are always stunned, uncomfortable, sad, or giving me compliments I haven't earned yet. I have unintentionally made several people cry. Why do they ask if they don't want to know? I really don't mind telling people, but I think I come across as cold. I don't think I'm cold, I would say that I'm "helpless, yet comforted". I can't explain that to them without going into a big gospel conversation, which is fine, but usually lengthy. I have tried short simple responses like, " He only has half a heart" or "he is missing his left ventricle" But people usually don't leave it at that.

So what should I tell people and how do I answer their inquiries without having them feel sorry for us? I don't want people to feel sorry. I don't feel sorry. I only feel sorry that Ammon has to experience so much pain. Other than that, I feel like any other person going through trials. Everyone has different ones, and they are ALL difficult. Besides, it is not MY trial, it is Ammon's - John and I are just here to try to make it more bearable for him.

Side note(s) - This morning I thought Ammon was going to take a nap (he is tricky that way) so I put him back in his crib and left to get ready for the day. Usually, I have to sprint to the shower, hurry and wash and stand there for a couple of minutes until I hear him cry. This morning I decided I was cold and wanted a nice, HOT bath :) Ammon had been awake since 5 so I figured he would sleep long enough. Whatever. As soon as I got in the perfectly warm water I heard a blood curdeling cry. Ah well. Up and out. By the time I got dried off and put my bathrobe on I found Allie standing on the side of his crib trying to put a binky in his mouth. Cute little girl.

Yesterday I had to take Ammon to the pediatrician for his vaccinations. As I was getting ready to go, Kylie came in his room and said, "Mom, don't you have earplugs in your make-up bag?"
"Not anymore, why?"
"I was going to take them to the doctors so I don't have to hear Ammon scream."
Nice.

At the end of Ammon's appointment two nurses came in to give him five shots. I got out of the way, but for some reason looked over just in time to see one of them putting drops in his mouth. "Ummm, do you know he is NPO?" (He can't have ANYTHING in his mouth because he can't swallow properly, will aspirate and get pnumonia.) I hurried over and picked him up as his eyes were tearing up and he was trying to cough out the stuff. Grrrrrrr. It was all I could do to keep my cool. She gave me the dumbest answer ever, "Well, Dr. Alvey didn't say I wasn't supposed to." You would think the oxygen and feeding tube (marked NJ) coming out of his nose would have been her first clues. Another appointment, another lesson learned by me.

3 comments:

wanderlustfamFebruary 25, 2010 at 5:37 PM
I can't wait to meet my new nephew who is at 3 months described as tricky.

I can't imagine what all that screaming sounds like, but I think its a good sign that he is so feisty.

About the sharing issue, I say make a little sign he can where around his neck that says I have a bum heart, wanna trade :O)
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JulieFebruary 25, 2010 at 9:44 PM
first of all, you're much kinder to that nurse than I would've been, honestly... Secondly, my nephew have Duschenes Muscular Dystrophy and anytime my sister goes anywhere she gets these pity looks from people and everyone wants to know what's "wrong" with him. My sister has had 12 years of this and she still doesn't quite know what to say because each person approaches it so differently. It's a hard situation but you mother's have been called to raise very special spirits and some people will just never understand the full extent of that.
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HeidiFebruary 26, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Wow, wow. Yes the new mommy craziness of the schedule, myriad tasks to do, the need to be an octopus, trying to keep a newborn calm and the very, very few moments to self. Way to try and take a bath!! You need those calming moments too. :) I had my first long shower last night after Ben puked all over me last night--I actually hummed in there as happy as a clam with no interruptions. :)

Anyway, amen to the other comment about you being so kind to the dumb nurse. Maybe it was shock, but you deserved to scold her. :) Baby shots are hard enough as it is and she should have seen all the extra gear he has and been even more attentive. (Sorry I guess I'm on one, I feel your pain on a very minor scale and man...YOU are strong and amazing!) Way to be super-mom!! Remember you don't owe anybody explanations but just share what you want and it will get easier. People are touched with the example of bravery right before their eyes. Both you and baby Ammon!
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