Huh.

I don't really have a good title for this post. I thought about, "An Even Crappier Day" or "If They Don't Know, Who Does?" or, "Back on the Roller Coaster" or even "This stinks" But none of them seem to capture the way I feel like "Huh".

Things didn't go well in the cath lab today. To keep it short, there are two major problems. First, his aorta (which was reconstructed during the first surgery) has a stenosis (narrowing) right next to where they fixed it before so they can't balloon it and they will have to reconstruct again. Second, his pulmonary artery (which they reconstructed this time) is also narrowed, kinked, twisted, and possibly has a clot in it. That explains why the left lung wasn't inflating properly right after the surgery and why it collapsed. Its not getting enough blood. There were a couple of other concerns, but the focus is on what needs to be dealt with immediately.

I talked to three doctors and his nurse (among a bunch of others who kept coming and going this afternoon). No one knows what to do. To be honest, they seem a bit stupified . One made it sound like it was hopeless. The next seemed baffled. One seemed like its possible to fix, but won't be easy. And the cardiologist made it sound like it would be a piece of cake to fix if he can tolerate the surgery.

They all passed the buck to the surgeon. Ammon's surgeon took some days off because his wife had a baby and the other heart surgeon was in surgery all day. They are going to have a pow wow in the morning and we will talk with them around 10am. Another open heart surgery is about 90% likely. If so, it will be within the next couple of days. He also has rhino virus - thanks to me. That has been complicating things quite a bit, but it seems to be improving each day. Anybody feel like fasting? I'm not being sarcastic, we could really use some more power behind our prayers.

I took the opportunity to do a short temple visit while Ammon was in the cath lab. Overall I feel good. Its a weird feeling. I don't know what will happen, but I trust things are as they should be. Whether I have to say goodbye this week, in five years or in fifteen years, eventually I WILL have to say goodbye for a while.

I love knowing that we have been sealed in the temple and that despite what happens, he is ours FOREVER. Don't get me wrong, I DON'T feel like he isn't going to make it, I actually feel pretty positive. This is the third time we've seriously faced the possibility of losing him - I wonder how many times we will face that during his life. At this point, I'll take what I'm given and I'll be happy with it.

Docterine and Covenants 3:1-3 (I like to change the word works to plans)

1 The works, and the designs, and the purposes of God cannot be frustrated, neither can they come to naught.
2 For God doth not walk in crooked paths, neither doth he turn to the right hand nor to the left, neither doth he vary from that which he hath said, therefore his paths are straight, and his ccourse is one eternal round.
3 Remember, remember that it is not the work of God that is frustrated, but the work of men;